I’ve got “sales” on my mind this morning, after watching a webinar that was 10% content, 90% pitch (read my rant on webinars here), and I want to tell you how I don’t do “Sales” - ever. And what I do instead to get clients I love who pay me.

Sales calls - I don’t do them

I don’t think in terms of “sales calls” - never have. Because the second you start calling a conversation between two people a “sales call” it becomes something different. It becomes me trying to get you to do something I want you to do. And that’s not what a Tea Date is. That’s not what my Free MindMeld About page is. I am not mentally, emotionally or financially invested in those calls turning into cashflow (seriously, I couldn’t care less), because I’m too busy caring about the person I’m speaking with.

For example, yesterday I had a super fun Tea Date with a guy who isn’t in a position to invest in copy right now (he’s not quite ready, ideas for his business are still gelling) and he very apologetically explained that he just wanted to make contact and get to know me. We Had The Best Time. We kicked around some ideas for how to work his multifaceted business, how to maybe get some clarity around his approach, how a home page structure might work for him, and chatted about Star Trek and gardening. 

And here’s the thing - my Tea Dates, which do not ever, at all, try to ‘sell’ - have a 90% conversion rate. 90% of the people I talk to become paying clients (and the other 10% have a great conversation that helps them in some way - and my numbers are also diluted because I use Tea Dates for everything, including mentoring newer copywriters who are never gonna buy from me). 

You never ever have to make a “sales call” to get clients. All you have to do is offer value, demonstrate your expertise by being actually helpful, and you have to genuinely care about the other person and want them to succeed. 

And, I will also say this, echoing my business coach Caroline who I think got it from George Kao: In your own mind, you can’t think of it as a “sales call.” You’ve got to be completely detached from the outcome, good or bad. Because if you’re not detached, if you’re coming from a place of “I need this client, I need the money,” then it becomes a “sales call” whether you mean it to or not. And clients are smart; they know. 

Overcoming objections - I don’t think they should be overcome

So many sales experts and business coaches (and door-to-door religious missionaries) will tell you that to gain converts, you have to anticipate objections and plan responses that overcome them. The biggest objection, of course, is: “I can’t afford it.”

How in HELL is that a statement we need to overcome? Where do you get off trying to talk someone out of being financially responsible and not going into debt? This makes me so mad I want to go on Amazon right now and order a punching bag delivered to my door to take out my aggression (but, right now, I can’t afford it). 

The argument is that, most of the time, people aren’t choosing between buying your course or coaching service and feeding their families. The argument is that if you reframe the price by saying “oh, you could afford a punching bag right now - just think of it as the price of 53 Starbucks lattes.” 

Okay, that’s fair. I probably could afford a punching bag if I reallocated funds. But that’s for me to decide and figure out. That’s not your job.

Which is great, because we want to be copywriters and coaches - not personal accountants! 

Here’s the thing: If someone says “I can’t afford it” or “I don’t have time for this right now” - that’s totally okay. Often, that means it’s not a priority for them right now. And that isn’t a question of talking them into making it a priority.

It is a question of fit.

Right fit clients are those willing, ready and able to pay for what you do because they know that they need it (right now), and they know that you can deliver it (because you’ve proven your value). Right fit clients don’t have objections. They may have concerns and questions, which you can and should answer (I love a well-written FAQ section, and testimonials also go a long way towards soothing fears), but they won’t have objections.

“Authentic sales conversation” - is not a thing and here’s why

I heard this phrase in the webinar this morning and my skin nearly crawled off my body: “Authentic sales conversations.” This is not a thing. As an English Major and word-nerd, it makes me seriously disappointed in humanity when perfectly lovely words are abused, and “Authenticity” has been completely stripped of its meaning by too many marketing people.

Authentic means “genuine,” “sincere,” “truthful” - the real deal. Now, when I go to a car lot to buy a car, and the super irritating sales person comes out and starts in on the manipulative hard-sell tactics, is that authentic? 

Well, because my expectation is that the sales person is there to sell me a car, then you could argue that YES, he is sincerely trying to sell me a car. But that’s as far as authenticity goes in this scenario, because we’ve all been on the customer side of a bad sales pitch that leaves us feeling frustrated, exhausted, even panicky. 

It’s because there’s a fundamental disconnect - we hope to be helped, not sold to. They expect to sell, not help. But they pretend to help, when really, they’re trying to sell (much like webinars that are, in fact, sales pitches).

(And I have had exactly this conversation with car sales people and gym membership sales people: “Dude, I work in marketing, I recognize every sales tactic you’re using here, can we cut through the bullshit?” It doesn’t work, friends. You can’t get them to quit what they’ve been taught to do, even for a second, to have an honest conversation - because they’ve been TAUGHT to overcome every kind of objection. Argh!)

The second you are trying to make a sale, your conversation jumps the shark of “authenticity” - because authenticity doesn't have an agenda! Authenticity isn’t trying to persuade or manipulate! Authenticity isn’t TRYING to do anything! 

Maybe I do need that punching bag… I’m getting really worked up.

“Copy and paste my amazing Six-Figure sales page” 

As a copywriter, hearing claims like this - “you can use my template for a sales page that earned $100K in sales” - makes my heart sad. Friends, templates don’t work that way. Not even mine. I can’t promise you that if you use my template you will make $5, much less $500K. Because most of the work of selling doesn’t happen on the page. It happens in your referral network, in your authentic non-salesy conversations, in genuinely helping people, in building a community of people who love you and your work, in your social media presence, in your newsletters, on your blog or vlog. That’s where sales are made. 

The sales page is the last stop on a much longer customer journey. And yes, a good sales page can tip the scales when someone is trying to make a decision - that’s the sales page’s job - but it does not make the sale FOR you.

And copy/pasting someone else’s successful sales page? Ooooh boy does that not work.

Because sales pages that work have to be completely dialed in to *your* ideal clients, their pains, fears, desires, needs - their deepest wishes, and the words they use to express all of that. A good sales page uses client language from your own clients. If you copy/paste a sales page that worked on someone else’s clients, it won’t work for yours. 

Your clients are different, you - the way you write and speak - are different, your point of view is different - and all of those things that make you different need to go on your sales page.

You can’t copy and paste that shit! 

Selling doesn’t feel good, and it’s NOT a fucking mindset issue

You and I are both here because selling doesn’t feel good to us. It’s not a lack of self-esteem or self-worth, or confidence. It’s not a “mindset” issue. It’s because we care about other people more than ourselves. It’s because we are generous and work from a place of love and abundance. 

Selling feels icky because we believe that we should “do as we would be done by” (to nerdily quote the Victorian children’s author, Charles Kingsley) - and we don’t want to be sold to. 

We want to be cared about.

We want to be helped.

We want to have delightful conversations with kind, generous people.

And we want to reciprocate kindness and help. We WANT there to be a fair and equitable exchange of energy.

That is what the coach-client, or copywriter-client, or any-human-client relationship can be. Loving, kind, generous, helpful, reciprocal. 

I don’t want to “make” a sale. I want to enjoy my time with you and help you as best I can, because I care about you and I love what I do. And I know you feel the same way, which is why we are a fit.